I have to get something off of my chest, and there is no good way to say it: I don’t like The Strokes. In order for you to continue to read this entry, you are going to have to accept that, if not agree with it. Believe me, it’s not an easy thing to admit. Several of my good friends love them, and I recognize their influence on modern rock. Disliking The Strokes isn’t the same as hating Nickelback, rolling your eyes at Coldplay, or shrugging your shoulders at Foo Fighters. The Strokes are consistently held up as one of the greatest bands of the 21st century, and I’ve been hearing more and more (especially from my generation of twenty-somethings and teenagers) that they are one of the “greatest rock groups ever!” I’m sorry, but that makes me audibly scoff. But please, before you angrily click away or leave a scathing comment, allow me to explain: you’ll see there’s more grey than black in my reasoning.

As you know, several weeks ago I attended Big Guava Music Festival in Tampa, Florida. I covered it extensively, yet there’s one thing I haven’t touched yet – The Strokes. The Strokes not only headlined the festival, but undoubtedly drew the biggest crowds and most excitement from the attendees. To be honest, I wasn’t super excited; there were several other acts that I was more interested in seeing. But I was set on catching their show. Firstly, a live show by a decent band is always going to be a good experience, even if you aren’t super into their music. Secondly, I felt it would be a good feather in my cap to say I’ve seen such an iconic band. Lastly, I thought seeing them live would put their music in a new context for me – I’d get the hype, and see why they are so loved. So many times I’ve seen a band perform live and come away valuing their music so much more. Who’s to say this wouldn’t be the same?

It wasn’t the same. The concert confirmed everything I felt about them, and actually made me more confused about the universal adulation towards them. Yet first, let me explain how I feel. First of all, I’m not going to come out and say that The Strokes are outright bad – that is obviously and patently untrue. They are massively famous and loved by millions of people. You don’t get there if you are bad. As a matter of fact, I’ve always thought that the instrumentalists in the band are incredibly tight when playing together, and Albert Hammond, Jr. specifically is a very talented musician. And truly, they have some pretty good songs: “Reptilia,” “Vision of Division,” and “Under Control” are some personal favorites. Beyond that, to their credit, they have consistently good artwork and a sleek logo. Is This It is one of the greatest album covers of all time. Most importantly, as people will surely point out, they helped kick off the garage-rock revival in the early 2000s along with The White Stripes. So hurrah for real rock ‘n roll, right?

Therein lies my problem. No matter what they do, I can’t shake that The Strokes sounds…contrived. Everything they do, from the sounds they make to the way they dress and act, seems like they are purposefully trying to manufacture a stereotypical “New York cool,” a sort of Velvet Underground meets Ramones. I just don’t feel it. And it’s obvious that they do this purposefully: there’s no way that Julian Casablancas is truly that apathetic. He must care about his music and his audience. Speaking of Casablancas, I can’t stand his voice. It sounds strained and grating, and usually has a strange effect on it that makes it seem like he is shouting through a megaphone. I’ve heard people say that he is a great inspiring singer; they must really look up to their middle school gym coach. As for their output, I am similarly unmoved. I’ve listened to all of their albums, and enjoyed Room On Fire and First Impressions of Earth while they were on, but once passed I felt no need to listen to them again. Believe it or not, Comedown Machine is the only Strokes album that I can see myself putting on in the future. Its more processed production better fits Casablancas’ canned voice, and I felt it was pretty groovy overall. Finally (and here’s the kicker) I thoroughly dislike Is This It and Angles. Even though they are the most stylistically different Strokes albums, they exemplify every grope I have with the band. It’s hard to put my finger on it – they play music that I should like, and they play music that should sound good, but it just lacks any excitement or heart. It’s what rock “should be” instead of what rock “is.”

They opened with “Reptilia” at Big Guava, much to my surprise. I assumed such a big hit would be saved for later, but hey, open with a smash! I appreciated it, and admittedly rocked out a good bit. My neck kind of hurt from headbanging. Yet after that, they settled into a staid pattern that gradually lost my interest. Julian still sang with that strange megaphone sound, even live, and it just loses me. He said some good lines to the crowd, but many of them were so obviously “too cool post-modern hipster irony” that I couldn’t help but role my eyes. The whole band seemed to go through the motions. I feel like since their first hiatus they’ve been more interested in their solo projects (especially Julian), which is fine, but it doesn’t make for a great band. Hammond, Jr. ripped off a few great solos, which were highlights for me. The whole crowd was loving it though, people were jumping, shouting, singing along, and throwing stuff. And the band sounded good – pretty much as they do on record. Too bad that doesn’t float my boat. The show was full of music that was made to sound cool, but they forgot to add the conviction and personality. But I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to have a good time, and got into it as much as possible. I have to be honest: I was relieved when the show was over.

I know one friend of mine in attendance expressed similar sentiments to my own, and afterwards, back at the hotel, another companion speculated as to why Julian Casablancas even bothers to tour with the band if he so clearly doesn’t care about the band – for the money? Fame? Maybe he does care, and puts forth this too-cool-for-thee attitude. But that’s the problem. How is that attractive? I want to see and artist and performer who is excited about his music, interested in the audience, and in communion with his band mates. The Who famously didn’t always get along, but they were committed to the music they made together and acknowledged that they played better together than apart. The Strokes are no Who.The White Stripes are clearly a better, more original band, and similar groups came along after that outdo what the Strokes started (The Hives are more energetic and funny, The Black Keys rock harder and are more bluesy). If they truly turn out to be as influential as some claim, then I feel bad for what people think rock is. But I have faith that the ball will keep rolling, and new engaging acts will continue to push the envelope and write edifying anthems, anthems that will get the blood boiling. (while the Stokes just let it simmer).

So that’s it. My feelings in a nutshell. Like I said, I think The Strokes are an okay band, but I really don’t understand all this [over]hype about them. If The Strokes were just acknowledged as a pretty decent band, I think I’d be perfectly alright, but the fact that they are continually held up as one of the best of this generation, let alone one of the best of all time, forces me to have to speak my mind.

Rock on.