In the wake of comedian Norm Macdonald’s unfortunate passing, I saw a clip of him closing a Nineties-era Saturday Night Live Weekend Update with the joke “And this week on the college charts, at number 1 we have Better Than Ezra, and at number 2 we have…Ezra.”

It’s a funny joke, because, as we all know, Better Than Ezra is a band that existed in the 1990s. Right? And that name screams to be lampooned. Because it surely means something…but what? Who is this poor sap Ezra who the band decided to permanently degrade? Thinking about this trivial mystery made me realize that, outside of being vaguely aware of their existence, I’ve never heard one Better Than Ezra song. I do not even know what kind of music they make. I guess some form of alt-rock? Because that’s broadly what all 90s bands played? I guess?

I noticed that the band’s official Instagram was tagged in the SNL clip. So I clicked on it, figuring I better go to the source if I want to know. Surely, one would think you could learn about the nature of a band from their Instagram page. Right??

Well…things aren’t so easy as all that. Just scrolling down their page, they have almost no video of them performing. No sound clips. Just still pictures. Okay, it makes sense that someone going to an obscure band’s Instagram page 20 years after their relevance would surely be familiar with their sound. (You’d think.) But not me! So let’s draw on some context clues: hm, okay, they are a four piece. Drums, guitar, singer, bass/keyboards. Pretty standard, could be anyone. Oh, they have a horn section? Are they ska?? The name could conceivably be a goofy ska name.

Let’s scroll down. Hm, it seems like the horn section is only used occasionally live. Vintage photographs show that BTE (as they like to be called) were originally a 3 piece. The main guy, Kevin Griffin, is clearly the Main Guy. He’s in the middle of every picture, looking slim and cool. In fact, most of the posts on Better Than Ezra’s Insta are of just him. Is the band defunct, and our man just uses the name to promote himself? No, no, there are some other guys in there. 

Yet the question remains – what does their music sound like? I refuse to look them up on YouTube or Spotify or Wikipedia. I am basing my entire knowledge of this group on what they post on social media. Oh! Here’s a live video! Oh wait, it’s just the main guy performing acoustically. Is this a BTE song, or a solo song? Is this representative of their usual sound? I doubt it. 

Here’s a video of them saying they are going to be at a music festival where they will “soft rock your socks off.” It’s pretty bold to self-label as soft rock. I respect that. But it makes me wary of their music. Are they like a Goo Goo Dolls or Savage Garden variant? The video has 348 likes. I sit back for a moment and appreciate that there are 348 people scattered across the globe who follow this band, and have been excitedly waiting for Better Than Ezra to soft-rock their socks off.

I’m pretty far down the page now, let’s scroll back up. Here’s a video of them in the studio, listing new songs at a rapid fire pace. And they want fans to vote on which will make the new album. How could anyone vote for songs that they haven’t heard yet? Based just on the titles you spit out a second ago? Bad, bad strategy. Maybe even Ezra himself could do better.

I keep seeing more videos of the main man performing boring middle of the road midtempo ballads. Am I confusing his sensitive solo career for his band’s, or is that what BTE does? I hoped for much more from them with a name like that.

You know what? I’m done. I’ve gone 30 years without hearing Better Than Ezra. I think I’ll be fine to keep going. In conclusion, I still haven’t heard a song by them, but I assume it’s AOR rock, with occasional horns to add some bounce. The frontman carries the other shmucks in the band on sheer charisma. I hope they have a long and fulfilling career, playing to those 348 people who’ve kept their flame burning bright all these years.

RIP Norm Macdonald.